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Admissions, Building Trust, Creative Approaches, Effective Questioning, Fear, Psychology · February 21, 2023

You’re Not Always Getting The Whole Truth

By Jeremy Tiers, Senior Director of Admissions Services

 3 minute read

 

About once a month I get asked by either an admissions counselor or leader if I believe prospective students (as well as some parents) don’t always reveal the whole truth during various college conversations.

My answer is, “Without question!”

Like it or not, a lot of students aren’t always sharing their true intentions and feelings with you during the college search process. It’s not necessarily because they’re bad people, but more so because they want to keep all their options open. Plus, students also tell us in surveys that they’re afraid you’re going to get upset if they tell you how they’re really feeling.

Two common examples are:

  1. An admitted but undecided student tells you that your school is one of their top choices instead of telling you that, while you’re on their short list, you’re actually the backup school.
  2. Students (or their parents) fill out a survey after the campus visit and virtually every comment is positive, yet not every student ends up applying.

Instead of assuming everything you’re reading (emails and text messages) and hearing from students is 100% true, here are five things I encourage you to do on a regular basis:

  • Always assume you aren’t getting the entire truth. Having that mindset will help you remain an active listener, and it will make it easier for you to consistently ask direct, intentional questions throughout the process. You should always be probing for more details and context.
  • Create an environment early on where they feel comfortable sharing negative feedback with you. It’s up to you to communicate that you’re okay with the student or parent telling you when they have concerns about something or if they start to feel like your college or university isn’t a good fit. When you create open dialogue in the early stages of the process, they’re more likely to be honest with you towards the end of the process when it matters most. Have you done that with your current admits?
  • Don’t be afraid to ask them tough questions (but do it with empathy). When you do there’s a good chance you’ll quickly discover what really motivates a prospective student as well as their biggest worries, fears, and concerns. For example, if you’re talking to an inquiry who has been in your system for a while and hasn’t completed their application, you could ask, “<First/Preferred Name>, what’s really keeping you from applying to <School Name>? It’s okay to tell me how you really feel about us.”
  • Don’t be afraid to ask them questions that are based in the negative. As humans it’s easier for us to express what we don’t like or what’s wrong with something. This is especially true for young people. Consider asking students about the wrong type of college for them or asking admitted students, if they had to choose today, what might be a reason or two they wouldn’t pick your school. Both are questions that can yield you extremely helpful feedback and context.
  • Always be ready to ask follow-up questions. It’s essential that you look for opportunities to dig a little deeper and get the why, what, when, or how behind something – “Why is that important to you?” Or, “Can you tell me more about that.” Or, “Help me understand how you’re going to make your college decision.”

If you’d like to talk more about something I said in this article, let’s do it. You can reply back, or email me here.

And if you found this article helpful, forward it to someone else on your campus who could also benefit from reading it.

Filed Under: Admissions, Building Trust, Creative Approaches, Effective Questioning, Fear, Psychology

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